Well I'm at the gym again... On the bike again... On my iPhone, on blogger again....
I can see this turning into a daily thing.
I had an interesting weekend. I got duper wasted on Saturday night, my god. I have not been that drunk in a long time. But I hardly danced at all :( when I go out, I usually count on all the dancing to kinda balance out my intake. Around 3pm my bff and I thought it would be an amazing time to go get some food. So we walked for half an hour to get buyers from velvet burger. They are AMAZING. Not all fatty like McDonalds, but semi healthy.
When I woke up in the morning I was like 'the fuck?'. I was totally out if it. I ate some rice and drank some Ginger beer. An hour later I was sweet as! Hellz to the yes for brilliant hangover cures.
My bff and I ended up going out for lunch. We went to this amazing French cafe and had crepes with fruit. Then I ate 5 maracoons :( fuck fuck fuck. I had a veggie burrito for dinner as well. I don't want to know what my intake was. I didn't even get any exercise done.
But today is a new day. I'm at the gym right now and I'm planning on not eating very much at all. Plus I have a dance class tonight. Yay for more exercise! I am not weighing myself today, no freaken way would I. After the weekend I had?
But I might tomorrow. I'm just terrified of what I will see on the scale.
Can't I just be 110 now? I would be so very happy with that.
Stay Strong.
Emily.
x
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
On the bike at the gym :)
Good afternoon everyone!
Im currently at the gym on the bike on my iPhone, so please excuse any spelling/grammar errors!
Yesterday was alright, but my night didn't go as planned.
At lunch I couldn't decide on what to eat so I ended up walking around my town for 45 minutes. Finally I ended up at a food court. I got a veggie curry combo which comes with rice, naan bread and a drink so I had a diet coke.
I ate only half the rice, 3/4 of the naan bread, half the sauce from the curry, none of the veggies. So not too bad.
Around 3pm I had a chocolate chip cookie. I wasn't going to eat anything else and I went to work and didn't gave anything there! (this is my 2nd job at a cinema, so it's surrounded in fat food).
I got home and my bff called me in tears. She had been out to dinner with her parents and they got really drunk. Her dad managed to put a hole through a door and got in a fight. Her mum was just screaming at ransoms yelling out 'my daughter is a whore!'. So she came round to mine and we ended up having a few glasses of wine and watching Harry potter 5. Then we had some brownie. Mutha fucken brownie. I had 2 small slices :(
Anyway this morning I has a bagel and a black coffee for breakfast. So I'm not going to have anything else for the rest of the day. But we are going out clubbing tonight so I'm most likely going to get super drunk, so I cam purge if I eat anything and no one will ask questions :)
Ahhhh fuck, shins so super sore right now and I'm sweating like a pig. Its gross, but being fat is worse!
No idea what my weight is but I'll weight myself on Monday.
Stay strong.
Emily.
xx
Im currently at the gym on the bike on my iPhone, so please excuse any spelling/grammar errors!
Yesterday was alright, but my night didn't go as planned.
At lunch I couldn't decide on what to eat so I ended up walking around my town for 45 minutes. Finally I ended up at a food court. I got a veggie curry combo which comes with rice, naan bread and a drink so I had a diet coke.
I ate only half the rice, 3/4 of the naan bread, half the sauce from the curry, none of the veggies. So not too bad.
Around 3pm I had a chocolate chip cookie. I wasn't going to eat anything else and I went to work and didn't gave anything there! (this is my 2nd job at a cinema, so it's surrounded in fat food).
I got home and my bff called me in tears. She had been out to dinner with her parents and they got really drunk. Her dad managed to put a hole through a door and got in a fight. Her mum was just screaming at ransoms yelling out 'my daughter is a whore!'. So she came round to mine and we ended up having a few glasses of wine and watching Harry potter 5. Then we had some brownie. Mutha fucken brownie. I had 2 small slices :(
Anyway this morning I has a bagel and a black coffee for breakfast. So I'm not going to have anything else for the rest of the day. But we are going out clubbing tonight so I'm most likely going to get super drunk, so I cam purge if I eat anything and no one will ask questions :)
Ahhhh fuck, shins so super sore right now and I'm sweating like a pig. Its gross, but being fat is worse!
No idea what my weight is but I'll weight myself on Monday.
Stay strong.
Emily.
xx
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
2nd update today.... Can you tell I'm bored?
So my intake today didn't go as planned.
What actually happened:
Trim coffee - 140cal
Veggie sandwich -200 cal
Choc chip cookie - approx 80
2x brownie - 250
Total: 570cal
Meh. Could have been better.
I've got dance class in an hour so that should burn some off.
Tomorrow morning I think I'm going to do a 15/20 bike ride and then an hour of yoga. I love yoga. It allows me to clear my mind and focus on whats really important durning the day like work and not food.
I think I'm going to try and not weigh myself all Friday and the weekend. It might drive me crazy but hopefully I'll get a nice suprise on Monday morning :)
New goals!
15/8 - 119lbs
19/8 - 117lbs
22/8 - 115lbs
27/8 - 113lbs
And then if I accomplish that I'll sort out the next lot of goals.
If I can get to 117 by the 19th I'll get a new lipstick and if I can get to 115 by the 22nd then I'll buy a née clubbing dress!
I know in a few days this will all get easier. It always does.
What actually happened:
Trim coffee - 140cal
Veggie sandwich -200 cal
Choc chip cookie - approx 80
2x brownie - 250
Total: 570cal
Meh. Could have been better.
I've got dance class in an hour so that should burn some off.
Tomorrow morning I think I'm going to do a 15/20 bike ride and then an hour of yoga. I love yoga. It allows me to clear my mind and focus on whats really important durning the day like work and not food.
I think I'm going to try and not weigh myself all Friday and the weekend. It might drive me crazy but hopefully I'll get a nice suprise on Monday morning :)
New goals!
15/8 - 119lbs
19/8 - 117lbs
22/8 - 115lbs
27/8 - 113lbs
And then if I accomplish that I'll sort out the next lot of goals.
If I can get to 117 by the 19th I'll get a new lipstick and if I can get to 115 by the 22nd then I'll buy a née clubbing dress!
I know in a few days this will all get easier. It always does.
122
When i weigh myself, I do it in the morning, just after I've gone pee.
This morning I weighed in at:
122
Yeahya.
Didn't end up going to the gym this morning because my left foot was in so much pain and I was so freaken tired.
But no all is lost because i have an hour dance class tonight and then I'll d random exercises before bed. Will hopefully be down another pound tomorrow.
Planned intake:
Mini brownie - 80cal
Pumpkin soup - 120cal
Bread roll - 100cal
Skinny coffee - 140cal
1/2 a serving of fro-yo - 50 cal
Total: 490 cal
Planned outtake:
Dance class 200 cal
So it's not going to be a complete fail of a day.
Last night on the way home from work, people were handing out free boxes of chocolates. I wasn't going to take any but some guy thrusted it into my hands so i had to take it.
I got home and gave it straight to my mum. I was so happy that i had enough control to not eat it and not eat any that was offered to me.
Control=not completely gone!
Im currently at my work right now. Im a data entry/systems admin person so I'm just on the computer all day. Yesterday i spent almost the whole day on blogger, just catching up on everyones blogs!
Hope you all have amazinly skinny days!
Stay Strong.
Emily.
xx
This morning I weighed in at:
122
Yeahya.
Didn't end up going to the gym this morning because my left foot was in so much pain and I was so freaken tired.
But no all is lost because i have an hour dance class tonight and then I'll d random exercises before bed. Will hopefully be down another pound tomorrow.
Planned intake:
Mini brownie - 80cal
Pumpkin soup - 120cal
Bread roll - 100cal
Skinny coffee - 140cal
1/2 a serving of fro-yo - 50 cal
Total: 490 cal
Planned outtake:
Dance class 200 cal
So it's not going to be a complete fail of a day.
Last night on the way home from work, people were handing out free boxes of chocolates. I wasn't going to take any but some guy thrusted it into my hands so i had to take it.
I got home and gave it straight to my mum. I was so happy that i had enough control to not eat it and not eat any that was offered to me.
Control=not completely gone!
Im currently at my work right now. Im a data entry/systems admin person so I'm just on the computer all day. Yesterday i spent almost the whole day on blogger, just catching up on everyones blogs!
Hope you all have amazinly skinny days!
Stay Strong.
Emily.
xx
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Lets just restart.... again.
So it's been about 5 months since I've posted or even been on here.
To be honest i did try to 'recover'. I tried to be healthy. Eating around 1000 calories, exercising around 2 hours per day. That lasted for a few months. I gained a little muscle and burned off a lot of fat, but i still wasn't happy. But i wasn't completely hating myself either.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. After my dancing nationals, I sunk into this dark black cloud. All because i didn't do as well as i had hoped. After 7 months of putting my self through hell, training 3 hours a day on a torn ligament, sprained ankle and horrid shin splints, I didn't place. What was the point in putting myself through all that if i wasn't going to get anything as a reward.
So for 3 weeks i didn't exercise, binged on junk food like i never have before and sunk into a slight depression. I gained 6kgs in two weeks. That's around 12lbs. I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I wanted so badly to just cut all the fat off. I couldn't look in the mirror without crying.
But i decided enough was enough. I got my hair cut, dyed it slightly darker, got a new blazer, new pair of heels, brought new make up and decided to stop fucking around with my body. I can be better that what i am now. I know this because Ive been so close to my goal before. All i need is my control, my will-power back.
So I'm back and will hopefully be back for a long time. Ive tried to recover, Ive tried to be healthy but for me, none of that shit works.
My plan:
One meal a day, with one small snack if need be.
Gym, every morning before work.
600 calories max. everyday.
Today's intake:
Trim coffee - 140
Mini bagel crisps - 130
Taco salad - 250
Total = 520 cal.
No hard out exercise for me today :( I went out last night with a friend (and I had to eat because she is starting to get suspicious about my eating again) and i got quite tipsy. So i slept in this morning and was late for work. Then i have work tonight at my second job, so i wont get home till 10.30. But I will do heaps of sit ups and squats.
My current weight:
125lbs (ewww)
By the 23rd of August I will be 115 or lower. That's when i see my best friend next. She lives 9 hours away and I have to be semi thin when i see her next.
If i can get down to 118 by next Thursday (so a week and 1 day) then I will buy myself a new dress (max. $80). I love having incentives :D
Im so glad to be back. I love this amazing, supportive community.
Hopefully i'll write everyday, but maybe not. Who knows.
Stay Skinny.
Emily.
xx
To be honest i did try to 'recover'. I tried to be healthy. Eating around 1000 calories, exercising around 2 hours per day. That lasted for a few months. I gained a little muscle and burned off a lot of fat, but i still wasn't happy. But i wasn't completely hating myself either.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. After my dancing nationals, I sunk into this dark black cloud. All because i didn't do as well as i had hoped. After 7 months of putting my self through hell, training 3 hours a day on a torn ligament, sprained ankle and horrid shin splints, I didn't place. What was the point in putting myself through all that if i wasn't going to get anything as a reward.
So for 3 weeks i didn't exercise, binged on junk food like i never have before and sunk into a slight depression. I gained 6kgs in two weeks. That's around 12lbs. I was at the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I wanted so badly to just cut all the fat off. I couldn't look in the mirror without crying.
But i decided enough was enough. I got my hair cut, dyed it slightly darker, got a new blazer, new pair of heels, brought new make up and decided to stop fucking around with my body. I can be better that what i am now. I know this because Ive been so close to my goal before. All i need is my control, my will-power back.
So I'm back and will hopefully be back for a long time. Ive tried to recover, Ive tried to be healthy but for me, none of that shit works.
My plan:
One meal a day, with one small snack if need be.
Gym, every morning before work.
600 calories max. everyday.
Today's intake:
Trim coffee - 140
Mini bagel crisps - 130
Taco salad - 250
Total = 520 cal.
No hard out exercise for me today :( I went out last night with a friend (and I had to eat because she is starting to get suspicious about my eating again) and i got quite tipsy. So i slept in this morning and was late for work. Then i have work tonight at my second job, so i wont get home till 10.30. But I will do heaps of sit ups and squats.
My current weight:
125lbs (ewww)
By the 23rd of August I will be 115 or lower. That's when i see my best friend next. She lives 9 hours away and I have to be semi thin when i see her next.
If i can get down to 118 by next Thursday (so a week and 1 day) then I will buy myself a new dress (max. $80). I love having incentives :D
Im so glad to be back. I love this amazing, supportive community.
Hopefully i'll write everyday, but maybe not. Who knows.
Stay Skinny.
Emily.
xx
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Yesterday was abit of a flop. Not a really one but still a flop. I ate around 300 more calories than I had planned to. I blame cookie dough ice cream. It's so deliciously evil.
But even though I ate over my calories I had a massive surprise when I weighed myself this morning:
113 (51.4kg)
WHAT????!!!!
I had to weigh myself another ten times to make sure it wasn't lying. It wasn't.
It's werid though, last time i was this light my arms were tiny, I was eating almost nothing and I was so headed all the time. Hmmmm. Odd. I am exercising alot more now though. Last night I did notice how flat my stomach had gotten again. It's starting to look good, can't say the same about my thighs and my butt. Oh well, looks like I've still got a long way to go.
Food for today:
Breakfast: trim mocha
Lunch: salad
Dinner: rice wafer with low fat veggie cheese and tomato.
I have a feeling that I've brought enough coffees to get a free muffin. I might eat it. I know muffins are just packed with calories but I do have dance tonight and I went to the gym this morning.
I'm on my way to work at the moment. I missed 5 different ferries this morning. So not a good start to the day.
Love you all, stay skinny!
But even though I ate over my calories I had a massive surprise when I weighed myself this morning:
113 (51.4kg)
WHAT????!!!!
I had to weigh myself another ten times to make sure it wasn't lying. It wasn't.
It's werid though, last time i was this light my arms were tiny, I was eating almost nothing and I was so headed all the time. Hmmmm. Odd. I am exercising alot more now though. Last night I did notice how flat my stomach had gotten again. It's starting to look good, can't say the same about my thighs and my butt. Oh well, looks like I've still got a long way to go.
Food for today:
Breakfast: trim mocha
Lunch: salad
Dinner: rice wafer with low fat veggie cheese and tomato.
I have a feeling that I've brought enough coffees to get a free muffin. I might eat it. I know muffins are just packed with calories but I do have dance tonight and I went to the gym this morning.
I'm on my way to work at the moment. I missed 5 different ferries this morning. So not a good start to the day.
Love you all, stay skinny!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Fat fuckers
Okay so fuck this shit.
I just wanna chop off all this fat.
I've tried being healthly. Eating no more than 1200 but no less than 600 calories.
But it ain't working.
I just had a little break down in front of my mirror.
I am fat.
My thighs are huge.
I have muffins on my hips.
I've lost my collar bones.
I just can't deal with this anymore.
I've tried to ignore the voices in my head but I can't resist them any longer.
Which is why I'm back here. Blogging. I've been on tumblr, but it's just not the same.
So I'm cutting down to around 300-400 cal per day with at least an hour of exercise. But I'm doing around 2 hours 5 days a week now.
I need to be thin. I would be so happy with 110 pounds (50kg). I would be the happiest girl on earth.
So tomorrow:
Trim mocha for breakfast - 140 cal
Couscous salad for lunch - 200
Rice wafer with cheese and tomato for dinner - 80
Plus I'm doing a kick boxing class before work and 1 and a half hour dance class after work.
Although today I brought 2 pairs of lee rider jeans. Both are a size 6 and fit perfectly. Size 6 (xs) is the smallest size they make. Which is odd. Because I'm back up at 124 pounds and yet I'm wearing xs?
Weird. Anyway I'm looking forward to catching up on all your blogs!
I just wanna chop off all this fat.
I've tried being healthly. Eating no more than 1200 but no less than 600 calories.
But it ain't working.
I just had a little break down in front of my mirror.
I am fat.
My thighs are huge.
I have muffins on my hips.
I've lost my collar bones.
I just can't deal with this anymore.
I've tried to ignore the voices in my head but I can't resist them any longer.
Which is why I'm back here. Blogging. I've been on tumblr, but it's just not the same.
So I'm cutting down to around 300-400 cal per day with at least an hour of exercise. But I'm doing around 2 hours 5 days a week now.
I need to be thin. I would be so happy with 110 pounds (50kg). I would be the happiest girl on earth.
So tomorrow:
Trim mocha for breakfast - 140 cal
Couscous salad for lunch - 200
Rice wafer with cheese and tomato for dinner - 80
Plus I'm doing a kick boxing class before work and 1 and a half hour dance class after work.
Although today I brought 2 pairs of lee rider jeans. Both are a size 6 and fit perfectly. Size 6 (xs) is the smallest size they make. Which is odd. Because I'm back up at 124 pounds and yet I'm wearing xs?
Weird. Anyway I'm looking forward to catching up on all your blogs!
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