Simply skinny september

So today has been alright. 

Intake:
- 2 veggie tacos = 340 cal
+ i munched on what I'm guessing to be 150 cal, so thats only 90 cal over my limit. But I would have burnt it off with exercise.

Today I did about an hour of dancing for school. I'm one of my school fashion show dancers. Didn't try out as a model this year due to body issues... You all know what I'm talking about.
Plus I went to the gym for an hour. 

Tomorrow is 600 cal. Possibly going to have a crumpet with golden syrup and pasta. Only 400 cal. But i'll still have 200 left if I feel like eating a snack. 

I have a lecture at my citys main uni tomorrow night. It's fir my history class, we are studing Tudors and stewards. It's not that I hate the subject, it's just that I hate my teacher and the way he teaches it. Honstly we have been studing it since feburay and I still have no clue. It's a three lecture, hell one hour is bad enough! 

I fricken tired and can't think of anything else to write. Except that...

Tomorrow is the start of 
"Simply Skinny September"
It's gonna be a great month, I can just feel it! 
But it looks like I didn't reach my first goal :( so i'm just aiming for the second one now. Watch out, i'm going to be thin soon. Summers on it's way and I need to thin. Asap. Please and thank you.

Emily.
XX

120!!!

I lost 4 pounds :) It was about time i started losing some!

Goddd im so tired so this will on be breif. Im at home at the moment as i have a study period at school. I only got 2 hours sleep last night, maybe less? I had to stay up to finish a seminar for English and yet i still went to the gym this morning. I just did my seminar like an hour ago and i think it went really well! i hope it did, i really need to start getting good grades.

Life feels like it back on track, although i know i wont get to my goal of 115 by the 1st of September. Im okay with that though. Now that ive started losing it only gets easier.

Im only eating 200 cal today, but im going to go over by 40. Its alright though as i have a dance class tonight and burned around 400 at the gym this morning.
So far today i've had:

- 5 crackers = 98 cal

Later i'll have:

- lolliepop = 40 cal
-crumpet with golden syrup = 100 cal

IM FREAKING BUZZING OUT! i need some sleep. But insted i'll just take some more nodoze and drink a diet coke. I had 4 nodoze last night... The recomended amout is 1. Hahah.

Hope you are all having wonderful days :)

Love you all.

Emily.
XX

EDIT:

I just read this and noticed all the spelling and grammar errors. I think it shows how much i need sleep. Im not tired though. Although i knowing im going to crash soon.

So just ignore all errors in this post, or have a laugh. Whatevs.

Let's all forget about yesterday

I didn't feel worthy of talking to you girls. Hence the reason I've been sucking at blogging. But I'm feeling better today. 
Yesterday however was extremley fucked up. Firstly I hadn't lost any weight so I ate breakfast :( then at school I got told I found out I fucked up my singing assesment to much so I didn't pass and that I also failed my two history assignments. Thankfully I can re do my history but I only have a week I have absoultly no time. I was so upset after talking to my history teacher so I went and sat in my car and cryed and cryed and cryed. Then I thought fuck it so I binged on:
- half a subway wrap ( veggie delight )
- one subway cookie
- medium McDonalds chips with sweet and sour sauce
- small veggie pizza from pizza hut

Fatty much?
So of coure I went home and purged. But it was werid this time. It was really hard to get it all up. It seemed to get stuck in my throat and it hurt. It has never been like this. I know I didn't get it all out but I did get most of it. 
I wasn't going to eat for the rest if the night but then my mum made me eat. It ws a choice between sushi or hot chips. I chose sushi but it made me feel sick. But I couldn't purge again. 

I've been exercising pretty well lately. I did a NYC ballet company workout DVD yesterday. I don't have anytime to do any today as I have an insane amount of homework to do plus I have work in an hour. 

So far today i've had:
- two mini baby bagels 160 cal
- one crumpet with golden syrup 100 cal

I'm not planning to eat anything else but I usually cave at work, but tonight I'll try to stay strong. I do feel thinner today but I'll wait till Monday morning to weigh myself. 

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

Strech marks???? Gross

I had a massive binge today. GRRRRRR. So over it all.

I will be fasting for two days. I can't handel the fat anymore.

Today at the gym I saw the strech marks on my thighs. Yes, STRECH MARKS. That's what I get for being a fatty.

Mini rant

So once again I'm skipping school. Badass. I went to starbucks and then went for a walk up one of my favourite moutains in Auckland, North Head. It's just amazing up there. I was just chilling but I had had a little rant to myself which I wrote on my notes on my iPod touch.
So this is it:

To eat sushi or to not? No I won't. I will only have a bowl of soup and two peices of bread. Done easy. Do not be weak and cave in. If you get sushi you will get fat as it is all carbs. Carbs are bad. Sushi is over 200 calories but soup is not. You arn't even hungry so I don't why you even want to eat. You need to feel empty again. You need to feel as light as a feather, otherwise you arn't making any progress. If you don't make progress you will just stay a fat fuck for the rest if your life. Save your money anyway. Now that you have to pay for your own gym membership you can't afford to spend money on food. The $20 a week you spend on food is now the $20 a week you will spend on the gym. You need to go to the gym. You are so fat and flubby. What the hell has happened to you? Everything just isn't working anymore. You're skipping school worse than ever, just because you don't want people to see your fatness, because you would rather stay at home looking at thinspo, blogger and PT and because you just can't seem to get any of your school work done. It's terrible. You can hang in there for just 10 more weeks. That's all, then you can have a social life. Not going out will also save you money and you won't have to eat when you are out. 

Hope you are all having wonderful skinny days.

Emily.
XX

Fresh Start

Life Sucks. It's true. Hence the reason why i haven't been posting, or talking to anyone or texting any of my friends back....
I think they think I'm dead or something. I wish i was. It would be easier than this hell. It just seems like everything lately is failing.

Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. School is just becoming too much but theres nothing i can do about it. I just cant be bothered doing work anymore. 10 weeks. 10 weeks and I'm outta there. I wont miss it one bit. Once again i haven't lost any weight this week. On Friday i had my singing assessment for my musical theatre course at school. I had planned to sing 'A whole new world' from Aladdin and 'Summer nights' from Grease both with my friend Kay.
In 'a whole new world' i missed all my cues, forgot almost the whole song and I'm sure i was singing in the wrong key. It was so embarrassing and horrifying. Then we had to sing 'summer nights'... well i fucked that one up too. Thats all i can do isnt it? Fuck things up.

For the next five weeks im goimg to try as hard as i can possibly try to stick to this diet. This is what Lila T does ( http://gone-perfection.blogspot.com/ ).

Gone 3000
1. 500kcal
2. 300kcal
3. 500kcal
4. 300kcal
5. 500kcal
6. 400kcal
7. 500kcal

246 program
1.200kcal
2.400kcal
3.600kcal
4.200kcal
5.400kcal
6.600kcal
7.200kcal

Fading week
1. 100kcal
2. 200kcal
3. 100kcal
4. 200kcal
5. 100kcal
6. 200kcal
7. 100kcal

Easy 800
everyday 800kcal

Divine Club
1. 300kcal
2. 800kcal
3. 500kcal
4. 200kcal
5. 800kcal
6. 300kcal
7. 500kcal

Intake for today:
- Bowl of pasta with tomato sauce: 300 cal
-Peice of bread: 50 cal
-bowl of Frozen yought: 149

Total: 499 cal.

No exercise for today :( Im a bit sick nut i was playing it up so i wouldnt have to be sick so no way would my mum let me go to the gym or dancing tonight. Ill try get away with some sit ups tonight though. Tomorrow i'll be going to the gym for an hour before school (20 minutes biking, 10 minutes running, 20 minutes weights, 10 minutes streaching) and then i half a half day YAY! i'll finish school at 11am so i'll come home and do an hour dancing. The rest of the day will be made up of school work. In the eveing i'll do a 'Sh bam' class and an hour of yoga. Never sone 'Sh bam' before. im guessing it's kinda like Zumba. Anyone else here go to les mills gyms? Love em so much.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

...

I had around 300 cal this morning. I was happy with that. I wasnt even hungry. Then my mum made me eat a cashew and onion wrap as i used to love them. There is 195 cal in the wrap alone! After i ate it she left. So course i went and purged. I think i got it all up. Im going to the gym soon to do an hour of cardio and then a yoga class. But i might get a frozen yought before hand. Ive benn craving one for ages and i wont feel to bad for eating one.

Today was terrible. Im just so over life. I just want to be done with school and get a real job and live a real life. i was late to coffee with my friend. Then at school i got bombarded with assignments. I realised that i dont have any where near enough time to get all my work done by the end of the year unless i want to pull all nighters every night. which i dont. Then i realised that i actually suck at all my subjects and im currently heading down to path of failure no matter what i do. Overall im just a failure at everything.

So i didnt end up fasting yesterday. At work i ate. around 300 cal? so thats not to bad. I realised that the best way for me to restrict is to not set intakes week by week but rather day by day. I dont know what tomorrow will be but i think i just wont eat until dinner and see... i dunno.

New Goals:

115 by the 31st August - i get a trip away to Wellington (capial of New Zealand)
110 by the 30th September - mani pedi
105 by the 31st october - Hair Cut at Stephen Marr (flash as place)
100 by the 30th November - ?????

This should be kinda easy, i mean ive given myself a lot of time.
I will do it this time and just in time for summer :)