Oh my lord.
Last night was interesting.
I got WASTED on a bottle of wine, one vodka lemon and lime and half a purple rain cocktail.
Then I spent half the night making out with this guy who I kinda knew. And he was a damn good kisser ;)
But then he ran off after some international chick....
So I went on a drunken search for my two bff's. Found one (she was super drunk) hanging out with a random. So I stole half his drink hehe. Then later I found my other bff and her boyfriend and they were having a massive fight. She was crying her eyes out and I don't blame her. Her boyfriend is such a dick. So went went to get food *cringe* Kebab's to be exact. I swear I either spent $20 on food or I gave a massive tip. Whatevs. But then I got hot chips as well, which I don't remember ordering.... But at least it sobered me up a bit. I got home like 3.30am
Got up 7 to go to work. And I was still drunk. I think the hangover is starting to kick in now but it should be too bad because Ive eaten and kept hydrated.
Food today has been terrible. I went to McDonald's for breakfast. Fuck. I feel so ashamed.
I got hot cakes and then 2 hash browns. After that I had 2 trim hot chocolates and and orange juice. For lunch I got a kebab but I ate like 4 bites because I wasn't even hungry and it had hummus in it and I hate hummus. It's so gross.
So I'm currently drinking a diet coke because my stomach is all grumbly :(
Fasting tomorrow to try and reverse the damage I did last night and this morning.
Blegh I'm currently dying. I need sleep asap.
Emily.
xx
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Haha bitches I'm drunk.
I am not held account able for the amount of calories I have tonight.
Fick one one of my sober friends jus saw this
Haha fml.
I'm rather drunk haha.
Hope you girls are having are wonderful day no matter what the the time zone.
Fick one one of my sober friends jus saw this
Haha fml.
I'm rather drunk haha.
Hope you girls are having are wonderful day no matter what the the time zone.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
116.8
Hell Yesss!!!
116.8.
Finally some movement in my weight!
Even after eating a little bit last night. I had 3 crackers with tiny slices of light cheese.
I was not going to eat anything but I got home after an insanely hard dance class and I felt like I was going to faint. I still hadn't done my night exercises so I needed to have a tiny bit of energy to do that.
I was going to try to fast again today but I am going out clubbing tonight so I know I need a little bit of something in my body otherwise I'm going to get wicked wasted and that's always when I binge :(
Tomorrow might be interesting.... I generally eat a fair amount the day after I go drinking, even though it's never more than 1000cal it's still a freaken lot.
So for lunch I have rice with spicy veggies. And only a small container worth so it won't be much.
No gym this morning :( I went to bed rather late and I need my sleep if I'm going out tonight.
Hope you all have a wonderful day! I know I will.
Emily
xx
116.8.
Finally some movement in my weight!
Even after eating a little bit last night. I had 3 crackers with tiny slices of light cheese.
I was not going to eat anything but I got home after an insanely hard dance class and I felt like I was going to faint. I still hadn't done my night exercises so I needed to have a tiny bit of energy to do that.
I was going to try to fast again today but I am going out clubbing tonight so I know I need a little bit of something in my body otherwise I'm going to get wicked wasted and that's always when I binge :(
Tomorrow might be interesting.... I generally eat a fair amount the day after I go drinking, even though it's never more than 1000cal it's still a freaken lot.
So for lunch I have rice with spicy veggies. And only a small container worth so it won't be much.
No gym this morning :( I went to bed rather late and I need my sleep if I'm going out tonight.
Hope you all have a wonderful day! I know I will.
Emily
xx
Monday, August 29, 2011
Breaking fast...
Broke my fast :(
I was going so well, but I had totally forgotten that I had told my dad I would go out to lunch with him. There was no way I could get out of it.
We went to a Turkish place and I got a mini falafel salad. I added it all up and it came to 150 cal. Not too bad, but I wasn't even hungry!
Atleast I dont have to work tonight anymore so I can workout at home :)
I plan on starting my fast again. I was 16 hours in, but I think I'm going to go for another 24 hours.
My friend just asked if I wanted to go to the hot pools. I actually started shaking when I read the message. There is no way I'm getting in my Bikin in public looking like this. Here in New Zealand it's not swimsuit season for another 2 months! I have until then to get ready. Not now. No way. So I made up an excuse that I had a dancing thing that night, which is half true. I have a performance that afternoon till 6.
Did a half-assed work out this morning :( I was late to the gym so I didn't get to do my whole workout :( but it's alright because I van workout tonight! Yaya.
A friend of Ana: im 5'6. This fast better help me lose, otherwise I will lose my mind!
I swear if I haven't lost anything by tomorrow morning, I will go crazy. Like kill everyone crazy.
I was going so well, but I had totally forgotten that I had told my dad I would go out to lunch with him. There was no way I could get out of it.
We went to a Turkish place and I got a mini falafel salad. I added it all up and it came to 150 cal. Not too bad, but I wasn't even hungry!
Atleast I dont have to work tonight anymore so I can workout at home :)
I plan on starting my fast again. I was 16 hours in, but I think I'm going to go for another 24 hours.
My friend just asked if I wanted to go to the hot pools. I actually started shaking when I read the message. There is no way I'm getting in my Bikin in public looking like this. Here in New Zealand it's not swimsuit season for another 2 months! I have until then to get ready. Not now. No way. So I made up an excuse that I had a dancing thing that night, which is half true. I have a performance that afternoon till 6.
Did a half-assed work out this morning :( I was late to the gym so I didn't get to do my whole workout :( but it's alright because I van workout tonight! Yaya.
A friend of Ana: im 5'6. This fast better help me lose, otherwise I will lose my mind!
I swear if I haven't lost anything by tomorrow morning, I will go crazy. Like kill everyone crazy.
Same.
I am still 120. So frustrating. I could rip out my hair, I'm that mad.
But I don't get it.
I've been exercising and eating an average off 600 cal per day.
So I'm fasting tomorrow. This will be very interesting as I haven't fasted in agesss.
Oh well. Im going out wedesday night so I won't eat much till then and I can get super wasted on not much. Yess plan.
My weekend was so average. I had an amazing workout on Sunday. 1 hour cardio, 1 hour weights and stretching. Then yoga Sunday night and kickboxing class this morning.
This not getting rid of my fat is messing with my brain... I can't even think.
But I don't get it.
I've been exercising and eating an average off 600 cal per day.
So I'm fasting tomorrow. This will be very interesting as I haven't fasted in agesss.
Oh well. Im going out wedesday night so I won't eat much till then and I can get super wasted on not much. Yess plan.
My weekend was so average. I had an amazing workout on Sunday. 1 hour cardio, 1 hour weights and stretching. Then yoga Sunday night and kickboxing class this morning.
This not getting rid of my fat is messing with my brain... I can't even think.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Binge? Hell no.
My weight is still the same. I don't fucken understand it.
Why won't the weight just go away.
I ran today for the first time in 3 months. Only 3kms but it's something.
My thighs are so sore. Massive workout planned for tomorrow. So keen.
Plus I'm getting wasted tomorrow. Excited to get drunk out of my brain. To just forget all my worries.
I'm starving right now. Want to binge. But I won't. But I'm starving.
Fuck.
Why won't the weight just go away.
I ran today for the first time in 3 months. Only 3kms but it's something.
My thighs are so sore. Massive workout planned for tomorrow. So keen.
Plus I'm getting wasted tomorrow. Excited to get drunk out of my brain. To just forget all my worries.
I'm starving right now. Want to binge. But I won't. But I'm starving.
Fuck.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Welcome to another day in paradise...
Still the same freaken weight.
Not happy.
Then again I havent been going that well this week. No major binges and everyday has been under 800 cal but I haven't been doing much exercise :/ hopefully tomorrow morning will be better.
Had a great workout this morning. Not amazing, but it was still great. Had a 45 minute dance class tonight and I left covered in sweat so that's gotta be good.
Outtake today:
Aprox 450 cal
Intake today:
Soup - 200 cal
Afghan biscuit - 150 cal
Few spoonfuls of plain pasta - aprox 100 cal
Glass of trim Choc milk - 100 cal
Total: 550
Damn. Not as good as I had hoped. My mum made me pasta for dinner and I felt really bad because she never makes me dinner and she was just trying to be nice. So I had to eat a couple if spoonfuls. But I swear if I haven't lost any weight by tomorrow morning, I will cut a bitch.
Today I realized that my bff has recently lost a lot of weight. I just can't deal with this. I'm the skinny one. I'm the fucked up one. She can't take this away from me. I need to find out how much she weights and then weigh less. There's no way I would ever be the average one. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. Even my mum said that she's lost weight.
This is turning into a competition that she doesn't even know she's playing. Well guess what sweetie? I will win.
One of my good friends is back at home for 2 weeks from uni and I swear she's lost weight as well.
I.JUST.CANT.DEAL.WITH.THIS
I don't intend of losing weight. To lose something means there's a chance of finding it again. I am getting rid of my fat. I don't ever want it back.
Stay Strong.
Emily.
xx
Not happy.
Then again I havent been going that well this week. No major binges and everyday has been under 800 cal but I haven't been doing much exercise :/ hopefully tomorrow morning will be better.
Had a great workout this morning. Not amazing, but it was still great. Had a 45 minute dance class tonight and I left covered in sweat so that's gotta be good.
Outtake today:
Aprox 450 cal
Intake today:
Soup - 200 cal
Afghan biscuit - 150 cal
Few spoonfuls of plain pasta - aprox 100 cal
Glass of trim Choc milk - 100 cal
Total: 550
Damn. Not as good as I had hoped. My mum made me pasta for dinner and I felt really bad because she never makes me dinner and she was just trying to be nice. So I had to eat a couple if spoonfuls. But I swear if I haven't lost any weight by tomorrow morning, I will cut a bitch.
Today I realized that my bff has recently lost a lot of weight. I just can't deal with this. I'm the skinny one. I'm the fucked up one. She can't take this away from me. I need to find out how much she weights and then weigh less. There's no way I would ever be the average one. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. Even my mum said that she's lost weight.
This is turning into a competition that she doesn't even know she's playing. Well guess what sweetie? I will win.
One of my good friends is back at home for 2 weeks from uni and I swear she's lost weight as well.
I.JUST.CANT.DEAL.WITH.THIS
I don't intend of losing weight. To lose something means there's a chance of finding it again. I am getting rid of my fat. I don't ever want it back.
Stay Strong.
Emily.
xx
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