Almost there, but so far away

Fuck. Sometimes I just wish I was old enough to not listen to my parents.
They are making me pushing my driving test back three weeks! Fuck. I was ment to be sitting it next week. I really need it. I'm sure my mum just doesn't want me to get it. Well fine. She can continue being my taxi till I take my test.
It doesn't even sound like a big deal, but to me it really is. I could have gotten it a year and a half ago. But no. My parents have basically refused to give me any lessons. Well thanks.

So I got angry.....
And ate 8 cookies.....
Could have been alot worse.
Thank god I had a dancing lesson. But I still feel fat and bloated.

Tomorrow:
6 dried mango slices - 160 cal
small chili bean wrap - 200 cal
total: 360

ok I can deal with that. I will be strong. I will not fail. I will be thin.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

Slipping is no longer an allowed

My weekend was.... A disater.
For some reason, whenever I start doing really good, I have to go and fuck it up.
I had just got down to my LW. Fml.
I'm not even gonna start to tell you what I ate. Although I did still eat less than what a 'normal' person would.
Blah. I feel fat.
Didn't weigh myself today. And I won't until Friday. I better have a new low weight.

Exercise and food plan for this week:

Monday -
quater of egg pie
3 Oreos
half a glass trim milk
water
400 cal
1 and half hour dancing lesson

Tuesday -
3 Oreos
half a glass trim milk
half of dinner, or less if possible
water
1 hour gym

Wedensday -
fast
1 hour gym

Thursday -
half of dinner
low cal snack?
1 hour gym

Friday -
half of dinner
low cal snack?
1 hour gym

Saturday -
small low cal lunch
1 hour ballet
1 hour gym

Sunday -
small lunch
half of dinner
1 hour gym

If I don't stick to this then no gum or diet soda for the next week. 100 sit ups, lunges and squats every night.

I willstick to this plan.
No failing anymore.
It won't happen.
We can do this.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

School can make me thin

First full day of school today.
I didn't eat anything all day.
After school I had a chocolate milkshake, a strawberry and chocolate muffin and 3 small cookies.
Drank water all day.
I don't feel bad for eating heaps though as I had just fasted for over 48 hours. Amazing.
Plus I had dancing and I kinda needed food to wake me up.
Tomorrow my mum isn't going to work so I'll have to eat a couple if slices of watermelon, pretend that I brought food at school and that I will have dinner at work.
Basically I'm going to fast. I'm so excited!
And I don't start school till 10 am tomorrow. Yay for my first ever study period!
Being a senior is mint. I love it.
Best if all, my year us already starting to get really busy. When it's busy I don't think about food.
I just cane up with a new rule. I can only weight myself every second day.
Gym tomorrow after school! It's my last week at my gym, as I'm moving to a different one, les mills.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

New low weight

New low weight: 113.9!!!!
Yay yay yay!
Gota go to school so I will post more tonight.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.
Emily.
XX

I can float, sky high

Haven't eaten anything today.
I've had about 5 coffees, a milk shake and water!
Yaya for control!
Maybe I should do this more often!
I feel like I'm floating....

Today at school, I had 4 people comment on how thin I looked! Well I am 8 pounds lighter than last time they saw me. I just told them 'oh I've just been going to the gym alot and training hard fir my dancing'. They totaly belived it. But I still plan on getting wayyy thinner! I didn't weight myself today. But I will tomorrow. I better be lower than 114.5, otherwise I'm fasting on Friday. I might anyway...

After some thinking today, I have decied not to continue with the ABC diet. I have realised that it just doesn't fit my lifestyle. It would be so much easyier to restrict (at least under 600 everyday) and fast when ever I can. This way I control how much I eat everyday and what days I will be not around my parents so I can fast.

Didn't get any exercise done today :( after school (it only went for half an hour) my friend Jaz came round to mine and we went to the beach and I couldn't blow her off as she was locked out of her house. Then I had work. So I had no time. Tomorrow I have a dancing lesson and i might go to the gum beforehand. I'll see how my day goes. But Friday I'm going to go SO hard out, I'm going to sweat so much!!!!
I'm booking my restricted tomorrow! It means I will be able to drive by myself! When I get it, it will become so much easyier to get to the gym and will have so much more time to spend at the gym. I will even be able to go before school!!! I'm so excited.

So my first full day at school tomorrow as a senior! Gahh I'm so excited!!!!

Hope everyones diets are going amazingly well!

Also, YAY 6 followers! Thank you girls! Just the fact that you follow my blog makes me so happy and want to work so much harder! Together we can do this!

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

Binge

I binged.
But only about 350 cal.
Fuck.
Thats more than double of what i was meant to have today.
I need to be punished.
From now until 7.30am Thursday in New Zealand, no solids will pass my lips.
Some cal via drinks may, but only for a coffee tonight, tomorrow morning and work tomorrow night.

If i fuck this up...
Fasting Friday and Saturday.
4km runs each day.
100 sit ups each day.
100 squats each day.
100 lunges each day.
No going to the markets on Sunday morning to get me some flowers.



Thats me two years ago. I weighed around 108.
I will be that girl again by the end of Feburay.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily
XX

ABC day 3

Weight is still the same :(

Im ment to be staying under 300 cal today, so i had two scrambled eggs for breakfast on toast. I think it's around 300 as i couldnt figure out the exact amount. I wont eat anything else today.
I will go to the gym though. I wanna do a really long, hard workout. I havent been in 3 days! Bad, bad. bad.

Grrrr im so pissed off. Today i was ment to have training for work and then work tonight. Just as i was about to leave, one of my managers called me and said that it's been changed till tomorrow. Usually that would be fine but I START SCHOOL TOMORROW! and i have told them this so many times over the past weeks. This also means that everyone else who was ment to be doing it will be at school as well. Then i asked if work was still on tonight and i got told 'no it's tomorrow, but you arn't rostered on'. Well thanks. Two days ago you told me i was. Honstly my work place is screwing with my bain. I will be there for one more year and then im gone. Im staying to suck as much training out of them as possible, then im gone.
It would be alright it this didnt happen like every week!

But that now means i have time to do stuff today, like:
- finish cleaning/re-arranging my room
- watch a movie
- go to the gym
- strech
- get ready for school tomorrow.

Hopefully my weigt would have droped a little bit by tomorrow. I did really want to be 110. I guess i didn't try hard enough.

Yesterday at my meeting, one of the girls pointed at my arm and said 'OMG Emily, your arms are so thin. Your're so skinny!'

That made my day (even though it's not true)





Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX