About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Die.Die.Die that's how I feel

It was stressful. As usual I left my history assignment to the last two nights. Bad bad idea. I spent the whole day doing it and I didn't even get it finished. I'm such a fucken failure. History used to be my best subject and now I'm failing that too? Great. Life os fucken dandy. I ate around 500 cal today so not to bad. Then I had an hour of hard out dancing. I almost started crying because I haven't been doing much practice lately and I feel like I've lost all the progress I made in the run up to nationals. I actually just wanted to run out of my dance studio, go home and have a big fat cry. I feel like I'm sucking at everything these days. 

Tomorrow I have a dancing competition. It will only be small but that's alright. I hardly eat anything when I'm dancing but I drink lots of sugery drinks and sf redbull. But I probley burn it all off. Then at night my three bff's are coming round to mine and my dad is cooking us dinner. It's going to be a fucken massive Indian fest (my dad likes to cook). Then there will be the snacks and the waffles in the morning. How strong will I be? How much will I fail? And there's no chance of purging either. It's impossible when there are other people in my house. 

God I hate my life. TGIF. 

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