About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fucken boys

I'm actually gaining some control back.
Thin for the win :)

idk I just don't feel like eating anymore. But I'm not sure if it's because of the fact that I'm fat or that I have sunk into this depressive mood because of the boy. I haven't seen him since last week because he has been sick and he's not the greatest at replying to my txts. I'm feeling rather unloved and I can't help thunk what I've done wrong. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I don't want to lose him. Fml I'm falling for him way to hard. I will see him this weekend. It will happen. If I don't and he doesn't give me a reason for not wanting to hang out I'm giving up on him. And realtionship in general. I will throw myself back into losing weight. Like I was this time last year cause I've kinda tryed to eat more for my friends but that might just change after this weekend. Oh if he only knew what ge was doing to me.
I hooked with a random the other night. Just to see what I felt. I felt so horrible like I wanted to kill myself. Not really but I felt so bad. Hooking up with randoms has never given me that feeling. Plus he was a super bad kisser.

Love fucken sucks. I hate it and yet I want it so much.

Anyway I'm off to the gym :)

No comments:

Post a Comment