About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Monday, January 31, 2011


So I'm back at the footcourt again. The one with the free Internet :)

I brought myself a plate of noodles and a diet coke. I ate about 5 mouthfuls of the noodles. I will not eat anymore. No way. But I'm proud if myself cause I ate less than half the plate. Contemplating throwing it up but I'm always terrifed of getting caught throwing up in public places. Did I say that I started purging again? Well I have. I don't like it and I don't want to do it but it's better than being fat right? I've only done it twice in the last five days so as long as I don't fall back into the whole binging/purging routine it's all good.

Exercise wise - I feel like I've been doing alot better. I've being going to the gym almost everyday and dance class every second day. I defently feel like I've lost a little round my stomach but I've still got muffins/love handles. They. Must. Be. Removed. ASAP.

I went and saw Black Swan the other night! Holy mother fucker. Natalie Portmans body!!!! Damn I want it. I will get it. I'm trying to limit carbs although it's friggen hard cause everything I eat tends to be carbs. That can be stopped though :) but she does look amazing. Also being a dancer myself it would be the perfect body for me. I plan on going back to see it as many times as I possibly can. It really is that amazing.

Update on the boy :) - he was outta town this weekend. But I'm gonna try and see him tomorrow after work as he's away this coming weiend as well. I haven't seen him in just over two weeks. Arghh it's killing me! We've been txting, kinda. And he usually txts me first which must mean he's still interested in me right? I really hope so.

So that's all. Nothing new really. Nothing exciting. I'll gym tonight and weigh myself tomorrow morning.


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