Serisouly though. I am.
I have nothing going for me. I'm so bored with life, but I just don't know what to do.
I'm sick and tired of being constantly injured, embrassing myself on a daily basis, of always being alone, of being fat, of not having any money so I have to steal it from work, of constantly fighting with my parents and my sister, of having $4000 credit card debit, of not having achieved a single one of my goals this year, of having nothing I'm good at.
I just want to escape and get away from it all.
I'm going to NYC in December. All flight are payed for but that's it. And I'm so poor. I can barley afford basic living let alone actually saving. Fuck I don't even have a passport yet. Atleast that will be a month of not eating :/
I just want to have an actual plan and some direction in my life. I just want to perform. But I don't know if I'm ready to give up on my highland dancing yet. I've worked so hard for so many years and I'm still not ranked. I'm still not part if the elite group.
Fuck, I don't know what I'm doing with life. My plans are changing almost every day.
My full time job finishes this Friday. I'm super fucked if I can't find another one.
I just want all this to stop. I need that light at the end of the tunnel but I just can't see it.