About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

McDonalds in EVILLLLL

My water fast today was going do good up until around 3pm. My drama class had a rehersal from 3.30 till 7.30 and most people wanted to go get some food up to mcdonalds. Since i'm one of the few people with a car in my class I offered to drive some people there. When we got there I just stopped thinking. I wasn't even hungry. It was just a moment of weakness and I slipped. One hambuger with no patty, small frys, medium frys, diet coke, two hot fudge sundays later I realised what I had just done.

I cannot belive what I've done. In 15 minutes I ruined it all.

I am such a massive failure. Who the hell does that? I wanted to punch myself, to cry, to cut open my stomach and pull it all out. But I couldn't. Not in front of all my class mates.

Now I just feel sick. Sick because I don't think my body is used to that much fatty food and sick because I don't want to think about it. So. tomorrow I will have a 100 cal protein cookie in the afternoon before dancing practice and then I'll give myself 300 cal for dinner. Also I'm going to go to a pilaties class tomorrow morning. It's a punishment for everything I ate today as it's so cold and horrible in the mornings and I never want to get out of bed.

Well I better go and try and catch up on my massive pile of homework. It's kinda insane how much I've got to do. 15 and a half weeks till i'm finished with school forever :) I didn't get any work done last night, I just stayed up looking at thinspo all night.

Hope your day was better than mine.

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.


1 comment:

  1. Sorry honey, I ate Mcdonalds just a few days ago. I know how u feel. Distguested. Bloated and just disappointed in yourself. I really understand. The worst part was tht i couldnt throw any of it up! it will be better, its just a slip tomorrow is a new day. Drink lots and lots of water that helped me. and plain no sugar no cream coffee as a natural diruretic.
    Stay thin n beautiful. i know what its like just ordering and not thinking..its like someone else takes over. im here for u!!!