About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

binge fuck ups

Back to blogging :) I had an insane last week trying to get all my art done. It was so hetic.

Yesterday morning i weighed myself and i was

119

I had finally gotten out of the 20's! But i fucked it up. I felt like such a disappointment.

I had around 8 water crackers with a tiny slice of cheese and tomato on top. Not many calories but it fulled me up. So then i went to work and i just started thinking about food. I couldn't stop thinking about eating a whole pizza, some kfc, pasta, a Burger, a milkshake, chocolate, falafel wraps, hot chips. Just everything. Eating it all and then throwing it all up.
So i finished work and was on my way to the gym, but instead i drove straight to KFC. I orded small fries, small potato and gravy, small coleslaw and two bread rolls. I drove to an empty car park and just sat in my car, stuffing my face. Then i attempted to throw it all up into a plastic bag, but i only managed to get like half of it up. I cryed so hard because i couldn't get it all up. Other cars started coming into the car park so i thought i better go to the gym.

I did an hour at the gym. Felt better about myself. Went home. Ate a mini chocolate bar and bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce. Felt terrible so i watched 'A view from the top' instead of studying.

I worke up this morning and weighed myself

120

Fuckkk.

Today i have had a bowl of pasta (300 cal), a trim mocha and a ice block (190 cal). I might have another trim mocha tonight but we'll see. I'm going to do a kickboxing class at my gym in an hour. I NEED to be 119 tomorrow.

I made a tumblr the otherday. I'll put my link up later.
Any of you girls have tumblr? I would love to follow you all :)

Stay Strong, Stay Thin.

Emily.
XX

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