About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Friday, December 18, 2009

How long before i crash?

Its good at the moment. Everything is good. But how long can it last?
How long until i give in and binge till i cant even breathe? How long until i give up on exercising? How much longer can i last?

I thought that yesterday would have have a massive fail. But it wasn't.
Current weight: 117! Ive lost 4 pounds!
I thought i would have put on weight as the day before yesterday was kinda bad and yesterday i ate like 10 Christmas chocolates, 3 cookies and half a packet of large chips. But i did exercise a bit yesterday. I went to the gym for an hour and then walked home from work which was a 40 minute power walk. I feel so happy, so in control. But i still look fat :( I have a long way to go.

Today all I've had so far is a coffee (with 2 sugars). I'm going to go to the gym soon for an hour and then i have work tonight. I will eat something before i go to work otherwise i might die as its a massive dinner for 200 and it's an 11 hour shift (4pm - 3am) which just kills me normally.

The thing i hate most about this is not having anyone to talk to. I tryed to talk to my friend last night cause shes always going on about how fat she is and how she wants to lose weight so badly. But she just laughed at me and called me crazy when i told her that there was over 200 cal in a small bottle of sprite. Some friend she is. But i know i have my blog. Even though no one may read it, i know that it wont laugh at me and i can speak my mind. It helps me everytime i think about binging. I think 'grrr if i eat this im going to have to blog about it'. It works so well.

Sorry im kinda in a emotional mood.

Stay strong.


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