Keep holding on

I just had my birthday dinner......

Oh god. I feel so fat. Went to a Indian restaurant and I ate all the food on my plate. Then back at mine I had twoslices if chocolate cake and two vodka cruisers. It's not even that much, but I feel obese. But it's not like I ate much today. I had five small chocolates. My gym is closed tomorrow. I think I might cry. So insted I'm gonna do skipping, sit ups, lunges, squats, a whole lira running ect. Plus I won't eat anything. I promise you. It will be hard as the last few times I have tryed to fast it's been a mega failure. But I feel in need to do it before I go on holiday. God just thinking about my holiday makes me want to cry! I'm going to be with my whole family and all of them are over weight. They will force atleast three big meals a day down my throat. I don't know how I'm going to stay strong. I'm thinking about just loading a whole lot of thinspo onto my iPod and looking at it before meals. When I come back, 3rd of Januray, I will weigh 115. I will I will I will.

Christmas day wasn't too bad. Ok so I defently ate more than u hoped but it's not like I binged. The day after was kinda bad I had mcdonalds and nachos. But it's a new year siin which means new lifestyle, new me.

So I just took a photo of my self in my underware and I look horrible. I will post it tomorrow to give me extra reason to be thin. It's all I want. Being thin would make my life just so much better and I know I will look so much better.

New Years resolutions????
I'm trying to think of mine. I'll post them before I go away. Most likely it will have something to do with being thin. But I trying to narrow it down.

Being thin is what I want. It's what I work for. It's what I want more than anyting in this world. One day soon I will be thin.

Stay Strong.
Peace.

XX