True colours

Just thinking...
In my life, what have I achived?
What have I done?
What will I be remembered for?
Being the quite, dancer who has a pretty face but nothing else. Avererage at everything. Big calf muscles. Not fat, but not skinny either. Wants to do so much but never does. Turns into a slut whilst drunk. Can sometimes be insanely werid and out of control. Quite and nice. Friends with everyone, but has a few good friends. A bitch. A gossip. Has no love life. Never has and never will. Went out on a date with a guy who had liked her for ages and she really liked him. He turned her down. Everyone was shocked. She wants to be over it, but she's not.

But what do I want?

I want to be the best. I want to be remembered as the amazing dancer, has an amazing body and a top student. I want to have a louder voice. I want to be love. I want to have someone who wants me and thinks about me. I want to have someone I can turn to when I need them.

Another valentines day will be spent alone. It's almost two years since the first and only time since I've had sex. I knew the guy for like 20 minutes. To be honest, it sucked and wasn't nice at all. I have never kissed anyone whilst not drunk. I have never kissed anyone I liked. The one and only time I told someone I liked them alot and have for ages, he turned me down. I want to have someone.

My life is boring. Dancing, school, homework, gym, work, sleep. I don't have the time or money to do anything else. I wish I was rich.

I have fugly clothes, I can't drive, I can't act, I can't sing, I never have any money.

Things I want out if life:
to be thin
to be loved
to become a rich actress and dancer.

Is that to much to ask?