About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Welcome to another day in paradise...

Still the same freaken weight.
Not happy.
Then again I havent been going that well this week. No major binges and everyday has been under 800 cal but I haven't been doing much exercise :/ hopefully tomorrow morning will be better.

Had a great workout this morning. Not amazing, but it was still great. Had a 45 minute dance class tonight and I left covered in sweat so that's gotta be good.

Outtake today:
Aprox 450 cal

Intake today:
Soup - 200 cal
Afghan biscuit - 150 cal
Few spoonfuls of plain pasta - aprox 100 cal
Glass of trim Choc milk - 100 cal
Total: 550

Damn. Not as good as I had hoped. My mum made me pasta for dinner and I felt really bad because she never makes me dinner and she was just trying to be nice. So I had to eat a couple if spoonfuls. But I swear if I haven't lost any weight by tomorrow morning, I will cut a bitch.

Today I realized that my bff has recently lost a lot of weight. I just can't deal with this. I'm the skinny one. I'm the fucked up one. She can't take this away from me. I need to find out how much she weights and then weigh less. There's no way I would ever be the average one. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. Even my mum said that she's lost weight.

This is turning into a competition that she doesn't even know she's playing. Well guess what sweetie? I will win.

One of my good friends is back at home for 2 weeks from uni and I swear she's lost weight as well.


I don't intend of losing weight. To lose something means there's a chance of finding it again. I am getting rid of my fat. I don't ever want it back.

Stay Strong.

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