Still the same freaken weight.
Not happy.
Then again I havent been going that well this week. No major binges and everyday has been under 800 cal but I haven't been doing much exercise :/ hopefully tomorrow morning will be better.
Had a great workout this morning. Not amazing, but it was still great. Had a 45 minute dance class tonight and I left covered in sweat so that's gotta be good.
Outtake today:
Aprox 450 cal
Intake today:
Soup - 200 cal
Afghan biscuit - 150 cal
Few spoonfuls of plain pasta - aprox 100 cal
Glass of trim Choc milk - 100 cal
Total: 550
Damn. Not as good as I had hoped. My mum made me pasta for dinner and I felt really bad because she never makes me dinner and she was just trying to be nice. So I had to eat a couple if spoonfuls. But I swear if I haven't lost any weight by tomorrow morning, I will cut a bitch.
Today I realized that my bff has recently lost a lot of weight. I just can't deal with this. I'm the skinny one. I'm the fucked up one. She can't take this away from me. I need to find out how much she weights and then weigh less. There's no way I would ever be the average one. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. Even my mum said that she's lost weight.
This is turning into a competition that she doesn't even know she's playing. Well guess what sweetie? I will win.
One of my good friends is back at home for 2 weeks from uni and I swear she's lost weight as well.
I.JUST.CANT.DEAL.WITH.THIS
I don't intend of losing weight. To lose something means there's a chance of finding it again. I am getting rid of my fat. I don't ever want it back.
Stay Strong.
Emily.
xx
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