About Me

New Zealand
I used to be thin. I used to like my body. Not anymore. Emily. 18. I live to dance. Currently in New Zealand but planning on getting out shortly. Come join me on my journey to perfection. CW: 116 HW: 124 LW: 108 GW 1: 110 GW 2: 105 GW 3: 100 UGW: 95... for now.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I'm sorry, I have let you down

I am a fat fucken failure. I feel so horrified with myself. Since my last post like 6 six hours ago, I have eaten 5 muffins. 5 FUCKEN MUFFINS. I dont deserve to live, to have friends, to write on my blog. I'm so horribly massive right now. I think I might start crying soon.

So tomorrow I'm only eating an apple and as little as I can get away with for dinner. I'm having a sleep over, so all I have to do is say no to all the FATTENING candy, chips and soda. Then a total fast on Friday. Maybe one day I won't be a FAT COW. Maybe... It would be nice.

But on a happier note, my friend wanted to use one of my dresses for a show she is doing, but she didn't because she couldn't fit any of them!!! It made me so happy!!!!!! The dresses = a size 1/2 from Dillards and two size small dresses from forever 21. But she is kinda chuncky herself. But I brought her candy for her birthday! So she's gonna get fatter! Haha

Look at me, bitching about my bff. Is this really who I have turned into? I'm not sure if I like this new me....

But this new me does want to be thin more than anything in the world! So I do kinda like her and her evil ways....

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry about the muffins. Tomorrow is a new day and you can start afresh. I binged badly today & feel like shit but I'm only thinking about tomorrow now... gotta focus on the postive :) stay strong & good luck!